Shannon’s Weblog

I should probably start off by saying that I am a very awkward person who usually ends up doing or saying something embarrassing such as; falling down, saying something that is completely inappropriate, or unintentionally causing someone else to display signs of panic. These awkward moments are usually involuntary and occur in such frequency that I have become quite accustomed to them.

However, because of these “occurrences” I have acquired something much more than a flushed face or an interesting story to share with friends. I have developed the ability to laugh at myself. I believe that is a quality that is very important and necessary for an individual to carry out a some-what normal and exciting life. You may not agree with this point of view, but understand this;  if I did not have a way to release my nervousness or anxiety that arises from one of these idiotic moments, I would probably be locked up in a psych ward. (Haa, okay not really, but it’s funny to think about.)

Okay, now that I’ve set the scene for this particular memory, I will begin my story….It was the summer of 2004, between my sophomore and junior year of high school. And as always, my friends and I were on our way to Kings Island for our annual trip. If I had known then what I know now, I might have chosen to miss out on that year’s trip. But, as it happens, I was sitting shotty in a red Mustang going 80 mph headed East on I-275. My stomach always gave a giant leap as I caught the first glimpse of the amusement park. Each summer, excitement mixed with apprehension faithfully plagued my body and mind. Yet, for some reason I continued to take these yearly trips.

On the arrival, we had decided like always, that we would ride Face-Off first. About an hour later we were ready to take our seats on the ride. Yet, just before stepping onto the platform we noticed that something or rather, “someone” wasn’t right. It took seconds to realize that a person on the previous cycle had the unfortunate experience of losing their bowels during the ride. And, with this I thought to myself, “This is not a good way to start out the day”. If I had only known what the rest of the day was to hold…

Five diet-cokes, and six hours later I began to lose my stamina. Having ridden almost every ride in the park, I was beginning to get fatigued and irritated, but it appeared that my friends had not lost an ounce intensity–they were still raring to go.  It was about 4:00pm at this point, and the bright, unforgiving sun was wearing my patience thin. But, the girls yelled, “Let’s do the bungee jump!” In all actuality, the “bungee jump” wasn’t a jump at all, but rather a “bungee swing”. Three people at a time could be harnessed in together, cranked up to about 150ft in the air, and then released into the great blue sky at maximum speed.

Well, long story short—we decided to do it. (By the way–remember those 5 diet-cokes?) My nerves were at an all time high as myself and two other friends were being strapped into the harnesses by a Kings Island Employee. As we were being lifted into the air I was told that I was the “lucky” individual who would pull the cord that would release our bodies into air.

Perspiration began dripping down my face as I reached behind my right leg, found the cord, and pulled. So many things happened at once; my friends screaming, the wind blasting in my face, and then….out of nowhere something would happen that would change my life forever. In the mist of the all turmoil, I realized that I had… (Yes, you guessed it) peed my pants!! 

But, what could I do? I was still air-born and…I was still harnessed in. And oh GOD!! …The poor crowd of people below me. Did they get sprayed?? Were they all laughing at my horrible misfortune?? And, what were my fellow comrades going to think? Could I blame the mist of urine on one of them?? Sadly, these are the questions that still haunt my thoughts to this day.

About three minutes later the swinging bungee came to a halt, and it was time to free ourselves from the harnesses. Little did the Kings Island employee know…I had a surprise waiting for him. He grabbed the harness from around my legs and gave a look of disgust as he gathered up the damp harness. Honestly, what could I do? Tell him that I (a 16 year old girl) had just wet my pants during a low risk amusement park ride? No, no I wouldn’t tell him anything. (But, I’m pretty sure that he knew the truth.)

Free from the harness, I decided to make a run for it and headed in the direction of the nearest restroom. I needed to check out the damage and maybe devise a plan that would allow me to get through the rest of the day. Minutes later, standing in front of a mirror I realized there was absolutely no way that I could play this off.  Partly because of my light blue shorts, which had turned dark blue in one area only (my crotch), and also the water rides had not yet opened for the summer season—which meant that I couldn’t blame the “wetness” on that.

Ultimately, I decided that nothing could save me from this embarrassing fate.  I was doomed. So, I pulled together all of my courage and walked out of the bathroom. As I walking back to the exit of the ride, I saw my friends standing at the booth where we had paid for the bungee jump. There were about ten televisions in this booth, and every screen seemed to be playing the same thing.  Getting closer, I realized it could only be one thing. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, our bungee jump had been recorded on video, and my friends and a small mob of people were watching it!!!

I didn’t need to say anything, everyone already knew about my “mishap”.  I couldn’t walk away; I had to face this dilemma head on. And, that’s just what I did. I walked around for the rest of the day with a damp bottom, and a sweatshirt wrapped around my waist; taking my friends horrible jokes in stride.

A million laughs and four years later; my friends still won’t let me forget that summer. During my next year of high school (Junior Year), one of my friends from the trip wrote a little section in our schools newspaper on the previous summer events. I won’t go into detail, but it read something like “Shannon Miller…is in need of the medication Detrol LA.” (For those of you who are unfamiliar with this prescription med—it is used for bladder control.)

Honestly, it was really embarrassing at the time…I mean, how could it not be? But, I wouldn’t trade any of those moments of awkwardness and embarrassment for the world. In retrospect, they have made me the person I am today. And, I think I’m okay with that. J